He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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