i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
