Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
