she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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