***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
