Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
