you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
