me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
then he tried to convert me to islam
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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