If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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