We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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