can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize