My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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