Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
