I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
