I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
