My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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