I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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