i came on her dog
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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