I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
