What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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