all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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