Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
