I wannas sexs uuuuu
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
