I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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