So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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