Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
