so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
