even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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