It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
