Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
