It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
