I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
