The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We need to get me chipped asap
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
