After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
