Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
