So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
