Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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