would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
