I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
