chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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