youre lurking in front of me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
