Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
