She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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