I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
