Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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