Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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