He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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