Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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