I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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