i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
