yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
