I'm drive I can fine osifer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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