Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
