I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize