barbara walters just said penis...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
