I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
