so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
