It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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