this just has baby written all over it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize