I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
