How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
time to smoke my breakfast
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
